Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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