there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
