is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
