i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
