The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
