so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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