ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Randomize
