she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
