I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she told me i tasted like america
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
