I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
nutella sex= disaster
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
