I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
