Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
