After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
