why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He felt like a one man threesome
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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