Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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