What a fucking waste of an outfit
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just cut my nipple shaving
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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