i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize