bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
