it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
