We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He better not be in your backpack
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize