You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
