Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
