is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
