Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
