Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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