TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
