Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
