Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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