I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
