your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
