i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
