Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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