Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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