Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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