Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
sex in a hospital.. check
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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