I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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