Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
