That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
