THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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