No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
