No awkward lesbian experiences without me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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