there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
