i just wanna soil my oats bro
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pants are for mortals
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
