You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over