Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...