We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
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Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.