remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
