I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions