Is it normal to miss your booty call?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
