Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
