I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
