toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
