I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
