so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my shit smells like andre
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
