My nipple is on Facebook.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's blow job season.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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