i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
