One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize