im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
