my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
