Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
