just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I touched a dick in church today
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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