But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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