Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That accounts for only three of the penises
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
