did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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