Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
