is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
