garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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