Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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