I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
ok first of all what the fuck
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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