There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
