Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize